39 Lessons Learned by 40

Jan 19, 2026

Hey friends! As I approach my 40th in April, I’ve

been reflecting on my life and all of the wisdom I’ve gained. This is surely not a complete list, but I thought it would be fun to share what I’ve learned. Let me know your thoughts.

Love,

Tara

39 Lessons Learned by 40:

God’s plan for your life is better than your own. I literally thought I would live on Long Island forever and teach there. Little did I know, I’d marry a guy from Ohio and raise and homeschool our 4 kids in South Carolina. 🤯
True happiness comes from marrying someone who is your best friend and lover at the same time. I find my husband to be incredibly handsome, but there is something special about being so close to someone and knowing all sides of them that really takes the cake.
The joy of being a parent far outweighs the struggles. Having children is the greatest thing we have ever done as a couple. It has stretched me in ways I didn’t know possible. I have been incredibly frustrated at times, but the mutual love between parent and child is life-altering. 10/10 highly recommend having children despite societal trends.
Homeschooling is not weird, it’s awesome. I literally told my homeschooled husband that I thought it was weird and now I can’t imagine my life being any other way.
The cliches are true. Less is more. Less socialization. Less make-up. Less screen time. Less junk food. Less truly is more.
Good guys are worth the wait. I had a handful of boyfriends through my twenties and thought my world was going to end when we broke up, but when I met Greg when I was 28 — it all made perfect sense. He has turned my world upside down in the best possible way. Meeting him was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Afterall, look what it lead to.
Whole foods are just better for you. Period.
Homemade is better than store bought. My husband grew up on 30 acres and take-out wasn’t really an option. Because of this, they can make any and all cuisines homemade. I won’t even waste my time with a store bought cookie anymore. Homemade is superior and thankfully I’ve become a pretty good baker.
Your siblings should be your best friends. I love that I can lean on my brothers in times of struggle and in times of celebration, too. The sibling bond is unmatched.
I need God in the storms and on the sunny days. Through my church, reading the Bible, and attending small group — I have learned that it is just as important to pray to God to praise Him as it is to pray to Him during hardships.
The Bible is a guide for my life. It’s the most important book in my world and I’ve learned how much smoother life is when I begin my day in God’s word.
It’s okay to ask for help. As a matter of fact, you should. When I first became a parent, I felt like I should do it all. After all, my husband was the one leaving the house and supporting our family with his paycheck. But I’ve learned that the most important work done is in the walls of this house. I ask for help and he is always there happily doing his share. It takes a village and when you don’t live near family, you learn to lean even more on one another.
Unconditional love isn’t just for the parent-child relationship. After 4 miscarriages and 4 sustained pregnancies through progesterone supplements, I was a hormonal mess starting after my third child. I was also overwhelmed and overstimulated and at that point, didn’t know how to handle it all. My husband loved me at my absolute worst and I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of unconditional love.
Going to bed early and waking up before your kids (when possible) is a pro move. Having a few minutes to yourself in the morning prepares you for the day ahead. I love to read the Bible, get dressed, put on my light make-up, and have my lemon water and celery juice in the morning. If I get these things done before my kids are ready for breakfast, then I’m on the right track.
Not all friendships are meant to last forever. Some friendships last forever and others are for a reason or a season, as I paraphrase a quote. I’ve learned that friendships should be reciprocated and sometimes it’s okay to let it go if it isn’t working anymore.
Spending time without technology is good for the soul. I think this analog trend speaks to this. I connect so much more with my husband and children when my phone is in another room.
Caffeine and alcohol don’t serve you. When my hormones were bad, I was diagnosed with PMDD, but what I really think I needed was some lifestyle shifts. Google said caffeine, alcohol and sugar can make symptoms worse. So I gave up alcohol entirely in 2024 (even though I barely ever had it) and gave up caffeine in my coffee shortly after. Sugar is a different story, but I am aware that avoiding it during luteal phase is helpful.
Photographs and videos are worth all the storage they take up on your phone. My kids and I love looking at the annual photo books I make. I love a good walk down memory lane.
Knowing and understanding the phases of your cycle is life-changing. Learn them. I did the work and I’m changed for the better.
The best way to get connected at church is to serve and participate in opportunities presented to you. My life got better once I started teaching Sunday school and joined a small group/Bible study.
You’re never too old to follow your dreams. I dream of traditionally publishing a children’s book and I’m currently seeking a Literary Agent. Moms’ dreams matter, too.
Making less plans is actually better. My kids and I find a day each week to not leave the house and wear pajamas. It’s a great day to catch up on chores and just let the kids play once we are done with our school.
Self-care as a mom is imperative. Sleep, exercise, time for yourself, and time in community are a few ways to care for yourself.
Daytime dates are more desirable than evening dates. We started this over the summer. Since we don’t have family nearby and babysitters are expensive, we can’t do this weekly, but when we can, it’s glorious. I’d much rather be at my home at night with my sweet children sleeping soundly upstairs.
Finding community where you live makes all the difference in the world. When we first moved into this house, I was so sick and so pregnant with my second. Then Covid hit. We didn’t make a ton of friends or get involved until like 2023 and life is better in community. Both in church and in our neighborhood.
You’re never too old to make a new great friend. I prayed this summer to find friends that my kids really clicked with, not just friends because I was friends with their moms. I made two new friends over the summer, both go to my church & both homeschool. Our kids get along so well and I’ve become good friends with them.
Having in-laws you’re really close to is actually rare in this world and it’s a blessing. I always hear people complain about their in-laws which makes me even more grateful. I do my best to be a good daughter-in-law — I send them pictures and videos, I prioritize visiting them, and I call them to catch up. No one loves my husband as much as the kids and I — except his parents. That relationship is important.
Comparison is the thief of joy. There’s a reason one of the Ten Commandments mentions not wanting what your neighbor has. Be grateful for what you have in your life. Every day is a gift.
It’s important to have friends who will pray for you in times of struggle. These, I’ve learned, are the best kind of friends.
Senior citizens are doing it right: early to bed, early dinner, puzzles, reading, and handiwork.
Puzzles, board games, and lots of books are the key to helping your children’s brains grow. Everyone is always blown away when they hear how many pieces are in the puzzles my kids do, but it’s amazing how the brain grows when you are having a mostly screen-free childhood.
You should never stop dating your spouse. One day the kids will be grown and it will be just the two of you again. Keep that at the forefront of your home.
When used the right way, a little screen time is okay. For us that’s: FaceTiming with grandparents, family movie days, and Magic School Bus/Veggie Tales episodes on co-op day! Because it’s a novelty, the children love it. Sometimes I do my exercise or shower during this time, so it’s a win for mom also.
Anything with fragrance as an ingredient can mess up your hormones. I have switched basically all products to help with this. Perhaps I’ll do a post on it soon!
Post-partum can be really hard and the hormonal imbalances are real. Lean on other moms who have been there. You shouldn’t try to do it alone.
Find time for exercise even if it’s just going for a walk. You’ll feel better and it’s good for your body (and your mind!).
If enough people have said “you’re going to miss this” then it must be true. People always say that or “I remember when mine were that small!” At the heart of everyone’s sentiment is this: enjoy it, it will be over before you know it. Enjoy your kids while they are small.
Spend more time with your parents. One day they won’t be here, and you’ll wish you had.
Finally, life is short. Spend time with the ones you love doing the things you enjoy.