Less Perfect, More Present: Making Summer Memories Without the Pressure

Join Tara| Home Sweet Homeschool and Faith with Jenna for a faith-filled conversation for moms who want a meaningful summer without turning it into a performance.

Hi! I am Tara, former teacher turned homeschool mama to my 4 kids and I am married to the love of my life for almost 10 years. We live in the southeast and our faith, family, and community are paramount in our life. I write about homeschooling, motherhood, and life as a newly turned 40-year-old.

Jenna Schutt is a Christian mom, homeschooler, former cardiac RN, stem cell transplant survivor, speaker, devotional writer, and founder of Faith with Jenna. She helps moms and women reach for God’s truth before fear takes over in motherhood, homeschooling, hard seasons, and everyday life. Feel free to see what Faith With Jenna is all about and join the Faith Friend Community at jennaschutt.com

We hear phrases like “you only get 18 summers,” and while the heart behind it is beautiful, sometimes it lands less as encouragement and more as pressure.

Suddenly, summer feels like something we have to make magical, memorable, spiritual, screen-free, photo-worthy, and full of once-in-a-lifetime moments.

Release the pressure of a “perfect” summer and notice the joy God has already placed in ordinary days.

We invite you to read through this Q & A sesh and get inspired for your own summer! And be sure to check out the free resource at the end of the article for tons of fun, budget-friendly ideas for moms with kids of all ages!

Question and Answer Session:

1. What does summer pressure look like for you as a mom?

Tara: Summer pressure isn’t an issue in my life. Homeschooling provides the opportunity to design whatever kind of lifestyle you prefer. For me, that means slower mornings and at least one day at home a week where we have a pajama day & zero plans whatsoever. Summer has even less pressure for me. Other than the bonus baseball season, we just finished, everything sort of pauses in the summer. We take a break from official homeschooling, enrichment classes are paused until August, and we just spend even more quality time together with less rushing. At the end of every school year, my kids and I make summer bucket lists and also a summer goal. This year everyone’s goal revolves around becoming better swimmers. The bucket list items are simple too, but we do try to accomplish them.

Jenna: I, too, homeschool my children, and like you, really enjoy the flexibility and the chance to make our days look and feel the way that we want them to. For us, summer always starts out very busy with VBS, summer reading programs, and baseball, but after the 4th of July, it really slows down. Since my rare disease diagnosis and stem cell transplant, I try not to put any pressure on myself, but I do try to focus on memories and experiences with my kids over things.

2. When you hear “you only get 18 summers,” does it inspire you, pressure you, or both?

Tara: I feel like I have a unique take on this. The “you only get 18 summers” seems less impactful as a homeschool mom. I spend a lot of quality time with them throughout the entire year, so I don’t feel a need to optimize every single second just because it is summer. Quite frankly, I prefer to do more activities while public school is in session to avoid crowds and lines. I can imagine if I was a working mom or if my children went to school 180 days a year, I would probably feel way more pressure to make every summer “perfect.” Thankfully, we make special memories year-round so I do not feel pressure to make it perfect. I just desire to make special memories with family and friends, and that is more than enough for me. “You only get 18 years” is a better reminder to make them count, throughout the calendar year.

Jenna: My viewpoint on this really stems from my transplant and diagnosis, which started when my second one was born. With those challenges and the times I could not be with my children, I do try to make the summers count. I think that “you only get 18 summers” could be pressure; however, I see it more as motivation to decide what’s important, what brings us peace and joy, and to focus on those things.

3. What is one summer memory from your childhood or motherhood that was simple but meaningful?

Tara: Can I do both? When I was a kid, we didn’t go on extravagant vacations, but every summer for a couple of nights we went to the end of Long Island and spent a few nights at a hotel on the beach in Montauk, NY (which has become the new Hamptons), but when I was a kid, it was a quaint beach town. We did the same things every year: play at the beach all day with peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, play mini-golf, have a bonfire on the beach under the starry sky, get ice cream, have pizza one night, and pick out a souvenir at the gift shops. Every night my mom would open the sliding glass door to the balcony and she would tell us to close our eyes and listen to the waves. Spoiler alert: we would fall asleep instantly. It was nothing wild or extravagant, but that’s the point, right? It was a tradition that we did every year and we always looked forward to it.

Both of my parents worked and we went to public school, so spending those few days at the beach as a family were always special. As a mom, it is so simple. I love when we go to the pool, the beach, or play in the sprinkler and water table followed by Jonny Pops or going to Rita’s for some custard. As I pondered my summers as a mom, this is what kept popping into my head over and over. Simple, yet memorable.

Jenna: My mom was a teacher at my school, and my dad was the principal (yes, I was that kid!), so summers were always fun because we were all home together. We were usually at the baseball field watching my brother play or taking a trip to visit relatives. We always made it fun, no matter what we were up to, and I think those are some of the most meaningful memories, the ones that aren’t one specific point in time but entire summers filled with togetherness.

4. What is one thing you are releasing this summer?

Tara: I am releasing the pressure to go places that will make me feel stressed. I will be avoiding enormous playgrounds and any public places during the busiest hours. Tracking my kids in a crowded place isn’t fun for anyone. I will make plans based around what is best for my family, and if that means staying home – awesome. If that means going to the pool first thing in the morning before the crowds and the super high UV index then that is what I will do. I also find value in saying no sometimes to social opportunities. Sometimes quiet days at home are what we all need.

Jenna: This summer, I am releasing those things that would cause a lack of peace, those things that would bring more stress and pressure on any of us. I am choosing to release the “perfect” summer, those expectations, and any stress that comes along with it. I am also deciding not to chase what others’ perfect summers look like, on social media, etc., and that their perfect summer won’t be mine because they are not me and they are not my family. I am also choosing not to spend an exorbitant amount of money on making these memories, but instead choosing budget-friendly, fun options.

5. What is one thing you want to be more present for this summer?

Tara: This summer I am trying to say yes more often. Within reason, I am trying to stop what I am doing and do what my child asks me to do. I have a 7-, 6-, 4-, and 3-year-old and they play beautifully. There are hours where I don’t see them sometimes because they are engaged in imaginative play upstairs, and that is when I try to be productive. But for instance, today, my daughter asked me to paint her nails so I said sure and we spent some quality time together. Basically, the chores can wait. Go make the memory. The chores will always be there; our kids will not always be little. I want to be more present for the little moments and prioritize quality time with my children over my To Do List. This goes for my marriage too, sometimes I will choose spending the evening with my husband over resetting the house perfectly. Quality time with the ones I love is what I want to be more present for this summer.

Jenna: More yes days! I would love to take on more spontaneous adventures as they come. Get rid of the “schedule” in my head and just do the things that seem to be fun in the moment (as long as they are safe, hah!). I would also really enjoy spending more 1:1 time with each of my children and doing something they would enjoy individually. I have 2 boys who are very close in age, so we tend to do everything together. But as most moms know, they have very different personalities, so I would love to explore what their perfect day would look like together. We also don’t do much screen time here, and I am looking to go more toward my childhood with puzzles, board games, art, crafts, jump rope, and chalk. My children both end up absolutely loving these adventures.

6. How does your faith shape the way you approach motherhood, memories, and ordinary days?

Tara: My faith has a huge role in how I approach motherhood, memories, and ordinary moments. I really do believe my ministry starts at home so keeping Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit in the forefront of our everyday lives is paramount. When motherhood is hard, I pray about it. I don’t know if I always did that, but the closer I get to God, the better I have been able to handle the challenges that come with motherhood. We pray at all of our meals and before bed, but I also pray with my kids, for my kids, and in front of my kids throughout the day. I love when they see me struggling and see me stop and begin to pray. I hope that by watching this, as they get older, they too will turn to God instead of culture when life gets hard (because it will at times).We often talk about the Fruits of the Spirit as well and we ask God to please give us the Fruits of the Spirit. There is nothing we can’t do if we have love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. When my children are having sibling conflicts, I like to remind them to think about What Would Jesus Do? I never knew how amazing the WWJD acronym was until recent years honestly. It helps me to ask myself that question when making decisions. If we could all be more like Jesus, the world would be a better place.

Jenna: My husband and I decided before our children were even born that we would raise them to live in faith. We homeschool and make sure church is an integral part of our lives. But faith, knowledge really doesn’t mean much if you don’t know how to live it. So my husband and I try to mirror that in the home, so we are an example for them to follow. Especially since we homeschool, we are the examples they learn from in handling everyday issues. We teach them the importance of prayer, kindness, love, and a relationship with the Lord. My husband also likes to say that “our kids will have fun in whatever we do IF we are having fun,” meaning that as long as we are all walking in love, peace, and joy, we are going to have a great time just being together.

7. What would you say to the mom who already feels behind before summer even starts?

Tara: I would tell her that the happiest moms are the best moms. Don’t stress. Keep it simple. Ask your kids for one or two special things that they want to do this summer and make it happen. Summer shouldn’t be stressful. It should be a break from the hustle and bustle. Be a happy mom and have happy kids. Enjoy the simple activities – the park, the pool, picnic, a hike, the beach, a movie day, read on the porch. It doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated for it to be memorable.

Jenna: I would tell her that a summer filled with peace and joy is wonderful. You are not behind if you and your children are happy, whether that’s coloring or swinging at the park, or playing in the sprinkler at home. As cliché as it may sound, money, adventures, and lavish vacations can’t buy joy or peace; that starts on the inside of each of us and comes out. Children will follow our example, and what we are ok with, they will be. If they are taught that just being around each other and having fun outside, doing a puzzle, playing a board game, baking cookies, etc., are the best memories, then that’s what they will remember. Summer doesn’t have to be another thing we are striving to get through, to do perfectly, to be the “best” at. Summer is for sunshine, laughter, and togetherness.

Making summer count does not mean making it impressive. Maybe it means slowing down enough to receive the ordinary moments God has already placed right in front of us.

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